I’ve been thinking about the pressure I’m placing on myself.
I’m relatively new to the indie author game and it has excited my passions. Without a doubt, I’m loving the writing I’m doing now – the process and the results – and I want to keep charging on with it. In my head there are so many ideas, and I want as many of them as possible to see the light of day.
But, having all these ideas means that I’ve become too unfocused.
There is an overarching plan and really I need to be following it step by step and not keep getting distracted!
That’s the problem, I’ve let myself get too distracted, charging on with new project after new project with the result that I’ve just piled up too much on my damn plate. The last few weeks I have been waking up at four in the morning, thinking of all I must do. A big pile of bricks sat on my shoulders, each of them needing individual attention, each of them needing space and time to lay them all down
In those dim small hours, I think through all of them and know that I have too much. That I can’t possibly do all I want to do without carving extra hours into the day or having some kind of breakdown.
Having anxious thoughts in the pre-dawn hours is never a good sign for one’s mental well-being.
I have my gorgeous wife and my lovely daughter and they are my priority. I also have my proper-job-type-job, which I need to take care of. Then I have my writing, which is my passion, my calling, what I want to do with my future. I have to give it my attention, but not in a way that leads to mild panic attacks.
So, I’m not pulling back, but I’m learning to focus better. Concentrate on what I absolutely need to do. That means some projects I’ve worked on (the Welsh story for instance) will drop to the back-burner. That’s fine though, they’ll be there to be rescued another day. For now, I just need to focus on what I need to do and make sure I get it done in as stress-free a way as possible.
I want to enjoy this, not torture myself with it.
My debut novel, THE WANNABES – which has been out of print for a little while – is now available for free! A supernatural thriller of beautiful actresses and deadly ambition in London town, it’s well worth your time. You can get your copy here!